Saturday, February 16, 2008
1:49 AM
I have been rather down lately and it started right beginning of this week. I knew that its gonna be a tough 1 month for me to get by.Nontheless, i have managed to see some light now.I have been doing alot of thinking and i cant help but to start having some self doubts.My confidence level nearly came to a null. I felt so screwed up & insignificant.No one seems to be able to give me any clues.I begin to feel that i am not myself anymore.I am horrified that i actually behaved in such intolerable way.I hate my irrational behaviour.Heads over heel most probably.Im in too deep.I hate myself for inflicting any unnecessary "tension" or to cause u any unhappiness.U have seen the worst of me so right now, im not seeking any "forgiveness"for i did nothing wrong?.I hate to say this. I am just hoping for a leeway to our current comfort level.I need not seek your understanding of what i am going through.But i do feel that im such an idiot & a fool in front of you.Even the door which fell onto my head did not bring me back to my senses.Alrite.I dont wish to pursue bout the matter anymore.
Im finding myself back.The happy go lucky..confident..determined & rational me.I just fell weak in a moment of weakness but i do know that i can get back on my feet if i want to.I have been through the worst before and so what is this small hurdle facing me rite now.I have more urgent priority at hand.